2/24/08
New Day
On December 4, Oregon experienced a major wind and rain storm, which caused flooding in some areas. I got called in to staff the state’s Emergency Coordination Center from 6 pm until 6 am. Things were mighty quiet along about 3 in the morning, but fortunately I had brought my laptop and the ECC had wireless.
I had gotten an email in November from the McGinnis family, who was at a similar stage in the adoption process and was waiting for Emily. Emily was also from Luoyang, and they told us about a message board for families adopting from Luoyang.
So, I was surfing the message boards and trying to stay awake, when I read a post about New Day Creations and how they do foster care in Luoyang. I went to their website and was reading through it (trying to keep my eyes open), when, suddenly, there was Leah.
Needless to say, I was awake.
The information for the girl that New Day called “Amy” was slightly different from our referral information, but I was certain it was her from the photos.
Although I was tempted to call Molly right then and there, I decided it might be a wiser choice on my part to wait until I got home a little after 6:00.
I sent an email to New Day and to Tiffany at AGCI. Tiffany emailed back later that morning:
Good Morning! This very well could be her! Wow!
It was my understanding when I emailed New Day when we got the group that none of our kids were from there, I typically email them in the beginning to see. It could be a date of birth discrepancy. What you can do is email the director, Karen Brenneman, her contact info is on the website, and see if it is her.
This is a Christian foster home that takes in special needs kids from orphanages across China to help better care for them. When families travel they do not go to New Day though, but to the orphanage listed on the medical. This is seen as a foster home like any foster home. The neat thing is though, with the size of the organization and staff they actually have a website and you can typically get updates and some families even get to call their kids! Isn’t that unreal!
Let me know what you find out! How exciting!
Tiffany Williams
All God's Children International
China Special Needs Case Manager
I sent another email to Karen at New Day, and she replied that evening:
Dear Mark & Molly,
The Chinese name we have for Amy is Dang Yi Miao. In looking at the pictures though I am pretty sure that they are the same child. Often orphanages will change a child's name and birthdate when they send in the paperwork a second time.
Mike & Zhu Zhu are in charge of the Luoyang branch. They will be able to give you as much info as you want. It is good that you contacted them. They are in the USA right now for the holidays.
We can also send you the monthly updates that we send to her sponsors. She is with one of our foster families.
I have attached this month's update and picture.
This is wonderful to know that she will soon have her very own family. Once you have your pre-approval let us know and we can put a star next to her name saying she is matched. Also you can change her name to what you want and we will change it on the website.
When you talk to Mike and Zhu Zhu you can see where to send a photo album of your family and home. This really helps the children with attachment.
Thank you for the exciting news.
Blessings,
Karen
We were very excited to learn that Leah was in foster care. Often, children who are in foster care in China tend to have an easier time attaching to their adoptive family than those who stay in an orphanage.
While we were in Burns for New Years, Molly’s friend Wen Ling called from Taiwan. She got some details about New Day, and before we knew it, she called us back and said she had just spoken to “Grace” at New Day in Beijing! Wen Ling emailed us Grace’s email address, and we got a response from her shortly:
Hello Mark & Molly,
I got your e-mail and also Karen's e-mail about more info. of Amy. Here I found more for you. I also e-mailed to Karen. I am her assistant in beijing. She is taking care of adopted parent for questions or other issues. I am very glad to talk to your taiwaniese friend wenling. She said she might come with you for adoption. Looking forward to see all in beijing.
Amy was placed into the local foster family on the Aug.12,2005. She doesn't go to preschool and not learn english. She had her cleft lip and palate repaired. Her pronunciation is not quite clear beacause of her situation. Her height: 96cm.
Blessings
Grace
Once we received our Pre-Approval, we couldn’t wait to send Leah a package. Karen offered to have letters translated, and we wrote one to Leah and one to her foster family:
Dear Amy’s foster family,
We are so excited to be adopting Amy!
Thank you for all the love and care that you have given her. We are deeply grateful for the way you have helped her grow during her time with you. She is so fortunate to have people like you to care for her.
We are excited to travel to China later this year and bring Amy home with us. We would love to meet you if that is possible.
We will be giving Amy a new American name, “Leah.” We are sending a package with some things for Leah, along with a photo album with pictures of our family.
We also have some questions for you that we will send to New Day Creations. Your answers to these questions will help us make the transition easier for Leah.
We will be sending another package soon.
Thank you again for loving Leah and for taking care of her.
Sincerely,
Mark & Molly Cotter
* * *
Dear Amy,
We are so excited that you will be a part of our family.
We can’t wait until we can come to see you and bring you home to us. Hopefully we will be there very soon!
We want to give you a special American name, “Leah.”
You will have two brothers, Luke, who is 7 years old, and Logan, who is 6 years old.
We have a beautiful room waiting for you, decorated with ladybugs.
We are sending some things in a package for you. There are some pictures of us, too.
We love you so much and we can’t wait for you to be a part of our family forever!
Love,
Daddy and Mommy
In the package we included some toys, candy, coloring books, clothes, and a photo album containing photos of us, our house, the grandparents, etc.
We sent the letters and the package to Karen in Beijing and soon sent her a list of questions about Leah.
Karen, as always, responded with answers in just a few days:
Dear Mark & Molly,
The answers to your questions are below.
Blessings,
Karen
1. What does her name (Dang Yi Miao) mean? (We understand that "Dang" is a common surname given to orphans in that area. We're thinking of keeping "Yi Miao" as her middle name, depending on its meaning.)
The orphanage gave her this name. The basic meaning is “little plant.”
2. What does her name on the referral packet (Dang Yi Ya) mean?
The orphanage gave her this name also and it has the basic same meaning. It means “little sprout.”
3. What name is she called?
Her foster family calls her Yi Miao.
4. How tall is she? How much does she weigh?
Height:101cm; Weight:17kg; Head: 50cm; Chest: 50cm; Seat: 56cm; Teeth: 20, Foot length:16cm.
5. What does she like to do?
She likes cutting things using scissors and making handicrafts.
6. What are her favorite toys?
She likes dolls.
7. Has she had any health problems or allergies?
She had cleft lip and palate surgery. She doesn't speak clearly. Otherwise she is healthy.
8. How would you describe her personality?
She used to be timid. She is quite outgoing now.
9. What makes her happy? What makes her angry or upset? What makes her frightened?
She is happy when she get gifts. If her foster brother touches her dolls, she will get angry or be upset. She is afraid of dogs and cats.
10. What do you do that comforts her when she is upset or frightened?
Bring her dolls or some her favorite toys.
On February 20, I turned on the computer to check the news as I was getting ready for work, and I was thrilled to find an email from Karen with photos of Leah and her foster mother with the package we had sent.
I’d received an email recently from another family who had adopted from Luoyang, and their son was in New Day as well. Melissa said that they were thrilled with the care he had received and spoke very highly of New Day.
So far, we agreed wholeheartedly.
I had gotten an email in November from the McGinnis family, who was at a similar stage in the adoption process and was waiting for Emily. Emily was also from Luoyang, and they told us about a message board for families adopting from Luoyang.
So, I was surfing the message boards and trying to stay awake, when I read a post about New Day Creations and how they do foster care in Luoyang. I went to their website and was reading through it (trying to keep my eyes open), when, suddenly, there was Leah.
Needless to say, I was awake.
The information for the girl that New Day called “Amy” was slightly different from our referral information, but I was certain it was her from the photos.
Although I was tempted to call Molly right then and there, I decided it might be a wiser choice on my part to wait until I got home a little after 6:00.
I sent an email to New Day and to Tiffany at AGCI. Tiffany emailed back later that morning:
Good Morning! This very well could be her! Wow!
It was my understanding when I emailed New Day when we got the group that none of our kids were from there, I typically email them in the beginning to see. It could be a date of birth discrepancy. What you can do is email the director, Karen Brenneman, her contact info is on the website, and see if it is her.
This is a Christian foster home that takes in special needs kids from orphanages across China to help better care for them. When families travel they do not go to New Day though, but to the orphanage listed on the medical. This is seen as a foster home like any foster home. The neat thing is though, with the size of the organization and staff they actually have a website and you can typically get updates and some families even get to call their kids! Isn’t that unreal!
Let me know what you find out! How exciting!
Tiffany Williams
All God's Children International
China Special Needs Case Manager
I sent another email to Karen at New Day, and she replied that evening:
Dear Mark & Molly,
The Chinese name we have for Amy is Dang Yi Miao. In looking at the pictures though I am pretty sure that they are the same child. Often orphanages will change a child's name and birthdate when they send in the paperwork a second time.
Mike & Zhu Zhu are in charge of the Luoyang branch. They will be able to give you as much info as you want. It is good that you contacted them. They are in the USA right now for the holidays.
We can also send you the monthly updates that we send to her sponsors. She is with one of our foster families.
I have attached this month's update and picture.
This is wonderful to know that she will soon have her very own family. Once you have your pre-approval let us know and we can put a star next to her name saying she is matched. Also you can change her name to what you want and we will change it on the website.
When you talk to Mike and Zhu Zhu you can see where to send a photo album of your family and home. This really helps the children with attachment.
Thank you for the exciting news.
Blessings,
Karen
We were very excited to learn that Leah was in foster care. Often, children who are in foster care in China tend to have an easier time attaching to their adoptive family than those who stay in an orphanage.
While we were in Burns for New Years, Molly’s friend Wen Ling called from Taiwan. She got some details about New Day, and before we knew it, she called us back and said she had just spoken to “Grace” at New Day in Beijing! Wen Ling emailed us Grace’s email address, and we got a response from her shortly:
Hello Mark & Molly,
I got your e-mail and also Karen's e-mail about more info. of Amy. Here I found more for you. I also e-mailed to Karen. I am her assistant in beijing. She is taking care of adopted parent for questions or other issues. I am very glad to talk to your taiwaniese friend wenling. She said she might come with you for adoption. Looking forward to see all in beijing.
Amy was placed into the local foster family on the Aug.12,2005. She doesn't go to preschool and not learn english. She had her cleft lip and palate repaired. Her pronunciation is not quite clear beacause of her situation. Her height: 96cm.
Blessings
Grace
Once we received our Pre-Approval, we couldn’t wait to send Leah a package. Karen offered to have letters translated, and we wrote one to Leah and one to her foster family:
Dear Amy’s foster family,
We are so excited to be adopting Amy!
Thank you for all the love and care that you have given her. We are deeply grateful for the way you have helped her grow during her time with you. She is so fortunate to have people like you to care for her.
We are excited to travel to China later this year and bring Amy home with us. We would love to meet you if that is possible.
We will be giving Amy a new American name, “Leah.” We are sending a package with some things for Leah, along with a photo album with pictures of our family.
We also have some questions for you that we will send to New Day Creations. Your answers to these questions will help us make the transition easier for Leah.
We will be sending another package soon.
Thank you again for loving Leah and for taking care of her.
Sincerely,
Mark & Molly Cotter
* * *
Dear Amy,
We are so excited that you will be a part of our family.
We can’t wait until we can come to see you and bring you home to us. Hopefully we will be there very soon!
We want to give you a special American name, “Leah.”
You will have two brothers, Luke, who is 7 years old, and Logan, who is 6 years old.
We have a beautiful room waiting for you, decorated with ladybugs.
We are sending some things in a package for you. There are some pictures of us, too.
We love you so much and we can’t wait for you to be a part of our family forever!
Love,
Daddy and Mommy
In the package we included some toys, candy, coloring books, clothes, and a photo album containing photos of us, our house, the grandparents, etc.
We sent the letters and the package to Karen in Beijing and soon sent her a list of questions about Leah.
Karen, as always, responded with answers in just a few days:
Dear Mark & Molly,
The answers to your questions are below.
Blessings,
Karen
1. What does her name (Dang Yi Miao) mean? (We understand that "Dang" is a common surname given to orphans in that area. We're thinking of keeping "Yi Miao" as her middle name, depending on its meaning.)
The orphanage gave her this name. The basic meaning is “little plant.”
2. What does her name on the referral packet (Dang Yi Ya) mean?
The orphanage gave her this name also and it has the basic same meaning. It means “little sprout.”
3. What name is she called?
Her foster family calls her Yi Miao.
4. How tall is she? How much does she weigh?
Height:101cm; Weight:17kg; Head: 50cm; Chest: 50cm; Seat: 56cm; Teeth: 20, Foot length:16cm.
5. What does she like to do?
She likes cutting things using scissors and making handicrafts.
6. What are her favorite toys?
She likes dolls.
7. Has she had any health problems or allergies?
She had cleft lip and palate surgery. She doesn't speak clearly. Otherwise she is healthy.
8. How would you describe her personality?
She used to be timid. She is quite outgoing now.
9. What makes her happy? What makes her angry or upset? What makes her frightened?
She is happy when she get gifts. If her foster brother touches her dolls, she will get angry or be upset. She is afraid of dogs and cats.
10. What do you do that comforts her when she is upset or frightened?
Bring her dolls or some her favorite toys.
On February 20, I turned on the computer to check the news as I was getting ready for work, and I was thrilled to find an email from Karen with photos of Leah and her foster mother with the package we had sent.
I’d received an email recently from another family who had adopted from Luoyang, and their son was in New Day as well. Melissa said that they were thrilled with the care he had received and spoke very highly of New Day.
So far, we agreed wholeheartedly.
FDL, PA and DTC
FDL
We stopped at the mailbox on the way to Christmas eve services. Molly looked through the stack of mail to see if our Favorable Determination Letter (from the US government) had arrived, and we were disappointed, again, not to see it.Then, after church, I was going through the mail, and there, stuck behind some junk mail, was an envelope from the US Citizenship & Immigration Service. Our FDL HAD arrived...on Christmas eve!!!
The expected timeline for our FDL was 8-10 weeks, and it arrived in 8.
The day after Christmas we got our last documents notarized for our dossier, and I took everything to the Secretary of State's office to be certified and then to Kinko's to make six copies of the whole dossier.
That night we packaged it all up and Fed Ex-ed it to AGCI. This was a big milestone - a lot of time, sweat, and a few tears - not to mention a good chunk of money - went into what really was a rather unassuming bundle of papers which easily fit, along with the six copies, into a Fed Ex "Medium Box."
PA
On January 2, AGCI received our Pre Approval notice from the China Center of Adoption Affairs. This means that the CCAA had reviewed our Letter of Intent and information sheet and approved us to be Leah's family. PAs normally take 6-8 weeks, and ours was just under 7. The exciting thing about receiving our Pre Approval, other than the fact that both the China and US governments thought we were qualified to do this, was that we could begin sending Leah packages and hopefully getting more updates.
The next day, waiting for me on my email at work, was this “Verse of the Day:”
For I am about to do something new. See, I have already begun! Do you not see it?...--Isaiah 43:19, NLT
DTC
We got the call from Tiffany at AGCI on January 24 that our dossier had been translated, authenticated by the Chinese Consulate, and sent off to China. We were now officially "Dossier-To-China."
We stopped at the mailbox on the way to Christmas eve services. Molly looked through the stack of mail to see if our Favorable Determination Letter (from the US government) had arrived, and we were disappointed, again, not to see it.Then, after church, I was going through the mail, and there, stuck behind some junk mail, was an envelope from the US Citizenship & Immigration Service. Our FDL HAD arrived...on Christmas eve!!!
The expected timeline for our FDL was 8-10 weeks, and it arrived in 8.
The day after Christmas we got our last documents notarized for our dossier, and I took everything to the Secretary of State's office to be certified and then to Kinko's to make six copies of the whole dossier.
That night we packaged it all up and Fed Ex-ed it to AGCI. This was a big milestone - a lot of time, sweat, and a few tears - not to mention a good chunk of money - went into what really was a rather unassuming bundle of papers which easily fit, along with the six copies, into a Fed Ex "Medium Box."
PA
On January 2, AGCI received our Pre Approval notice from the China Center of Adoption Affairs. This means that the CCAA had reviewed our Letter of Intent and information sheet and approved us to be Leah's family. PAs normally take 6-8 weeks, and ours was just under 7. The exciting thing about receiving our Pre Approval, other than the fact that both the China and US governments thought we were qualified to do this, was that we could begin sending Leah packages and hopefully getting more updates.
The next day, waiting for me on my email at work, was this “Verse of the Day:”
For I am about to do something new. See, I have already begun! Do you not see it?...--Isaiah 43:19, NLT
DTC
We got the call from Tiffany at AGCI on January 24 that our dossier had been translated, authenticated by the Chinese Consulate, and sent off to China. We were now officially "Dossier-To-China."
Waiting
Molly and Luke were talking about adoption one day in November. Luke told her, "Jesus adopted us, but he didn't do the paperwork. He just got us."
A few weeks before Christmas, Logan and I were driving in the car when he said, "Daddy, do you know what I want for Christmas even more than a hamster?" "What, buddy?" I asked. "I want Leah to get here more quickly..."
We all went out to Chinese food in December as a test run for our trip.The boys were very brave, at least until Logan tried the hot mustard. He was pretty much done after that. Luke loved fried shrimp and liked the fried rice. Everyone tried chopsticks.Of course, who knows if the food was similar to what we'll really have in China. It was fun, anyway.
Molly took the boys to Gilbert House, a children's museum, where it was time to renew our annual membership. When it came to the place to list our kids, she wrote Luke, Logan, and LEAH. She said it about made her cry....
A few weeks before Christmas, Logan and I were driving in the car when he said, "Daddy, do you know what I want for Christmas even more than a hamster?" "What, buddy?" I asked. "I want Leah to get here more quickly..."
We all went out to Chinese food in December as a test run for our trip.The boys were very brave, at least until Logan tried the hot mustard. He was pretty much done after that. Luke loved fried shrimp and liked the fried rice. Everyone tried chopsticks.Of course, who knows if the food was similar to what we'll really have in China. It was fun, anyway.
Molly took the boys to Gilbert House, a children's museum, where it was time to renew our annual membership. When it came to the place to list our kids, she wrote Luke, Logan, and LEAH. She said it about made her cry....
CIS
On October 26, we shipped off our “Application for Advance Processing of Orphan Petition,” better known as the I-600A, to the United States Department of Homeland Security, Citizenship and Immigration Service, commonly known as “CIS.” Filing the I-600A hopefully results in the “Notice of Favorable Determination Concerning Application for Advance Processing of an Orphan Petition”, officially numbered the I-171H, commonly known as the Favorable Determination Letter or “FDL.” Gotta love the government.
CIS, remarkably, sent us a notice within a week that we had an appointment on November 21 in Portland to have our fingerprints taken (for what would now be the third time). November 21 was the day before Thanksgiving, and we were not too thrilled about having to travel to Portland in all of the holiday traffic. However, rescheduling would push back our FDL, so we saddled up the boys, left early and braved the traffic, which turned out to not be bad at all.
We made it Portland an hour and half early, and, after finding the CIS “Application Support Center,” had cinnamon rolls at Elephant’s Delicatessen. The CIS office was straight out a movie, or maybe an episode of “Seinfeld.” It was very governmental - pale blue walls, cheesey photos on the walls, hard plastic chairs, and a very gruff person-in-charge who seemed to feel that if she raised her voice with the people who didn’t speak English they would understand her better. The people who actually took our prints, however, were very nice, and they let the boys put their fingers on the glass so that they could see their fingerprints on the screen.
The next day was Thanksgiving. Molly told me later that this was the first Thanksgiving where she felt that our family wasn't complete. Somebody was missing.
CIS, remarkably, sent us a notice within a week that we had an appointment on November 21 in Portland to have our fingerprints taken (for what would now be the third time). November 21 was the day before Thanksgiving, and we were not too thrilled about having to travel to Portland in all of the holiday traffic. However, rescheduling would push back our FDL, so we saddled up the boys, left early and braved the traffic, which turned out to not be bad at all.
We made it Portland an hour and half early, and, after finding the CIS “Application Support Center,” had cinnamon rolls at Elephant’s Delicatessen. The CIS office was straight out a movie, or maybe an episode of “Seinfeld.” It was very governmental - pale blue walls, cheesey photos on the walls, hard plastic chairs, and a very gruff person-in-charge who seemed to feel that if she raised her voice with the people who didn’t speak English they would understand her better. The people who actually took our prints, however, were very nice, and they let the boys put their fingers on the glass so that they could see their fingerprints on the screen.
The next day was Thanksgiving. Molly told me later that this was the first Thanksgiving where she felt that our family wasn't complete. Somebody was missing.
We're In Love
Over the weekend that we had Leah’s referral packet, we discussed adopting an older child. This was the weekend of Logan’s birthday party, so we had the opportunity to discuss it with our parents and friends.
At the beginning of the process we were thought that we wanted a girl between the ages of 18 and 24 months.
However, we had been concerned about our age after waiting two years for a referral for an infant (although, for the record, Holt told us that we would be the age of most of their adoptive parents). We were also concerned about the age difference between our daughter and the boys.
I also did some research on cleft lip and palate, and found that it is very correctable.
We talked about attachment issues with an older child, as well as language and a whole bunch of other things.
And, the more we thought about it, the more we were convinced that God has brought Leah to us.
Our Letter of Intent and acceptance packet quickly arrived and was FedExed back to AGCI.
We found ourselves quickly falling in love with the little girl with the unfortunate haircut.
At the beginning of the process we were thought that we wanted a girl between the ages of 18 and 24 months.
However, we had been concerned about our age after waiting two years for a referral for an infant (although, for the record, Holt told us that we would be the age of most of their adoptive parents). We were also concerned about the age difference between our daughter and the boys.
I also did some research on cleft lip and palate, and found that it is very correctable.
We talked about attachment issues with an older child, as well as language and a whole bunch of other things.
And, the more we thought about it, the more we were convinced that God has brought Leah to us.
Our Letter of Intent and acceptance packet quickly arrived and was FedExed back to AGCI.
We found ourselves quickly falling in love with the little girl with the unfortunate haircut.
The Unfortunate Haircut
We started this process, not really knowing any differently, thinking that we would be getting an 18-24 month-old baby girl. This would mean that, once our dossier was done and off to China, life would essentially go on for about two years before we would receive a referral.
As God has done with so many adoptive parents, He gently guided us toward opening our hearts to a special needs child. Molly felt from the beginning that our wait would not be two years, but, although we knew He could, we weren't sure how God would accomplish that with the wait time for a non-special needs child being 18-24 months and increasing.
We had filled out a special needs form a month or two into the adoption process, not really knowing much about what special needs entailed.
AGCI gets a block of special needs children regularly, and they have three months to place them. If they aren’t placed, their files go back to the China Center of Adoption Affairs. Sometimes it takes months or even years before the file is referred to another adoption agency.
The needs of these children range from a minor birthmark or burn, to a cleft palate, to missing limbs and Hepatitis C.
AGCI tries incredibly hard to place every child, because they hate to see a child’s file go back to China, knowing that it will be that much longer before the child receives his or her “forever family.”
When AGCI gets a batch of special needs files, they first attempt to match the kids with families who have indicated they would be willing to take specific special needs. The kids they can’t place immediately are then sent out to all of the AGCI families via email before finally being placed on the AGCI website as waiting children.
On October 24, Kate, our AGCI China case manager, sent out an email to AGCI families featuring “a darling little girl…with an unfortunate hair cut.” She was in the Luoyang Social Welfare Institute in Henan Province. She had been found abandoned in October, 2004, and doctors estimated that she had been born in June. She had a cleft lip and palate, which doctors repaired later that year.
Kate's email:
Hello China Families,
I have another special needs child to share with you. We have contacted families that are on our waiting list and now we want to present her to the whole program. If you are interested in seeing more information about this little girl than please let me know. At the end of the day tomorrow I will see who has contacted me and I will be in touch with the family that is farthest along in the process to share her medicals with.
Dang Yi Ya (picture attached) was born June 19, 2004 and she had cleft lip and palate. She has undergone corrective surgery for both her lips and her palate and now is a darling little girl (with an unfortunate hair cut). Please let me know if you want to look over her medical and social information.
If you are not interested seeing her medical information that please lift her up in prayer – we are anxious to find her a great home.
Have a wonderful evening -
Blessings,
Kate
Kate McDodson
China & Vietnam Case Manager
All God's Children International
There was no bolt of lightning; no revelation. We had called AGCI after another such email a couple of months earlier, and that child had already been spoken for. We didn’t want to get our hopes up.
Despite the unfortunate haircut, this girl was awfully cute, though……
We agreed that I would call Kate the next day, to make sure we were still on the special needs list, and to ask more about the little girl in the email.
I got home from work and called Kate, and got her voice mail. It was one of the few nice days we had this past fall, and I told her that I would be on the tractor and then on the lawnmower, but she could try to call both our home and my cell number.
I had shut off the tractor and was walking to the mower when the phone rang. Kate had called during the not-more-than-two-minutes when I would hear the phone ring.
Kate and I discussed the special needs list, issues with adopting an older child, and I don’t know what else. Kate was very patient and encouraging, as always.
When AGCI gets more than one call expressing an interest in a child like this, the family that is furthest along in the process, typically with a dossier already in China, gets first dibs. In adoption terms, we weren’t really all that far along yet, and I asked Kate how many calls they had received on this girl, afraid of her answer. We were the first.
Kate said she would be happy to email me the referral information; she told me that they like to get a child’s file “out there” in circulation so that she is seen, and also because she may spark a family to consider special needs. She assured me that there was no obligation and that she wouldn’t think any less of us at all if we said no.
By the time I got into the house, Kate had emailed us the file in two emails with two attachments each, containing photos and medical information. I opened the first email and found myself looking at photos of our daughter.
We poured over the medical information and the three photos that night.
Molly just happened to have a meeting the next day in which she would see her pediatrician friend who worked at ABC House, a child abuse assessment center. Dr. McNaughten was gracious enough to look at the medical report and gave it her blessing.
The day after receiving the medical information, we were out at Red Robin (did I mention that Red Robin is the standard Cotter birthday dinner restaurant?) for Logan’s birthday and saw a family with a Chinese daughter who had a cleft lip. Molly’s Mom went over to talk to them and learned that the girl was three years old also.
I spoke with our associate pastor on Sunday, and Ken told me that it seemed to him that God was opening doors. He said that God was perfectly capable of closing doors, so, since they were open, we should keep on walking through.
That Sunday night, our community group met and we shared the referral with them, and we prayed as a group.
On Monday, we had the boys’ pediatrician look the medicals over as well, and Dr. Griffin pronounced her “a normal little girl.”
After getting home from work, I called Kate, and, after exchanging pleasantries, I took a deep breath, and told her, “I’m calling about the referral information you sent us..." (as if she didn’t know)…"We’re in!”
As God has done with so many adoptive parents, He gently guided us toward opening our hearts to a special needs child. Molly felt from the beginning that our wait would not be two years, but, although we knew He could, we weren't sure how God would accomplish that with the wait time for a non-special needs child being 18-24 months and increasing.
We had filled out a special needs form a month or two into the adoption process, not really knowing much about what special needs entailed.
AGCI gets a block of special needs children regularly, and they have three months to place them. If they aren’t placed, their files go back to the China Center of Adoption Affairs. Sometimes it takes months or even years before the file is referred to another adoption agency.
The needs of these children range from a minor birthmark or burn, to a cleft palate, to missing limbs and Hepatitis C.
AGCI tries incredibly hard to place every child, because they hate to see a child’s file go back to China, knowing that it will be that much longer before the child receives his or her “forever family.”
When AGCI gets a batch of special needs files, they first attempt to match the kids with families who have indicated they would be willing to take specific special needs. The kids they can’t place immediately are then sent out to all of the AGCI families via email before finally being placed on the AGCI website as waiting children.
On October 24, Kate, our AGCI China case manager, sent out an email to AGCI families featuring “a darling little girl…with an unfortunate hair cut.” She was in the Luoyang Social Welfare Institute in Henan Province. She had been found abandoned in October, 2004, and doctors estimated that she had been born in June. She had a cleft lip and palate, which doctors repaired later that year.
Kate's email:
Hello China Families,
I have another special needs child to share with you. We have contacted families that are on our waiting list and now we want to present her to the whole program. If you are interested in seeing more information about this little girl than please let me know. At the end of the day tomorrow I will see who has contacted me and I will be in touch with the family that is farthest along in the process to share her medicals with.
Dang Yi Ya (picture attached) was born June 19, 2004 and she had cleft lip and palate. She has undergone corrective surgery for both her lips and her palate and now is a darling little girl (with an unfortunate hair cut). Please let me know if you want to look over her medical and social information.
If you are not interested seeing her medical information that please lift her up in prayer – we are anxious to find her a great home.
Have a wonderful evening -
Blessings,
Kate
Kate McDodson
China & Vietnam Case Manager
All God's Children International
There was no bolt of lightning; no revelation. We had called AGCI after another such email a couple of months earlier, and that child had already been spoken for. We didn’t want to get our hopes up.
Despite the unfortunate haircut, this girl was awfully cute, though……
We agreed that I would call Kate the next day, to make sure we were still on the special needs list, and to ask more about the little girl in the email.
I got home from work and called Kate, and got her voice mail. It was one of the few nice days we had this past fall, and I told her that I would be on the tractor and then on the lawnmower, but she could try to call both our home and my cell number.
I had shut off the tractor and was walking to the mower when the phone rang. Kate had called during the not-more-than-two-minutes when I would hear the phone ring.
Kate and I discussed the special needs list, issues with adopting an older child, and I don’t know what else. Kate was very patient and encouraging, as always.
When AGCI gets more than one call expressing an interest in a child like this, the family that is furthest along in the process, typically with a dossier already in China, gets first dibs. In adoption terms, we weren’t really all that far along yet, and I asked Kate how many calls they had received on this girl, afraid of her answer. We were the first.
Kate said she would be happy to email me the referral information; she told me that they like to get a child’s file “out there” in circulation so that she is seen, and also because she may spark a family to consider special needs. She assured me that there was no obligation and that she wouldn’t think any less of us at all if we said no.
By the time I got into the house, Kate had emailed us the file in two emails with two attachments each, containing photos and medical information. I opened the first email and found myself looking at photos of our daughter.
We poured over the medical information and the three photos that night.
Molly just happened to have a meeting the next day in which she would see her pediatrician friend who worked at ABC House, a child abuse assessment center. Dr. McNaughten was gracious enough to look at the medical report and gave it her blessing.
The day after receiving the medical information, we were out at Red Robin (did I mention that Red Robin is the standard Cotter birthday dinner restaurant?) for Logan’s birthday and saw a family with a Chinese daughter who had a cleft lip. Molly’s Mom went over to talk to them and learned that the girl was three years old also.
I spoke with our associate pastor on Sunday, and Ken told me that it seemed to him that God was opening doors. He said that God was perfectly capable of closing doors, so, since they were open, we should keep on walking through.
That Sunday night, our community group met and we shared the referral with them, and we prayed as a group.
On Monday, we had the boys’ pediatrician look the medicals over as well, and Dr. Griffin pronounced her “a normal little girl.”
After getting home from work, I called Kate, and, after exchanging pleasantries, I took a deep breath, and told her, “I’m calling about the referral information you sent us..." (as if she didn’t know)…"We’re in!”
What Does it Cost?
Everyone is curious, but only a few are brave enough to ask.
They say that an adoption from China will cost between $20,000 and $25,000. Other countries are a little less; others are a lot more.
They say that an adoption from China will cost between $20,000 and $25,000. Other countries are a little less; others are a lot more.
The Adoption Timeline
How long does it take? Good question.
China adoptions are taking over two years from start to finish. Once the flurry of paperwork is completed and the dossier is off to China, the waiting begins. China logs in the dossier and then it sits for what is currently 18-24 months before a referral is made.
Why? Another good question, and we don’t know. Molly says, “Because they can.”
Special needs timelines are much faster, without the waiting period. If all goes well, from the time we signed on with AGCI to the time we bring Leah home should be about a year.
Here’s a rough breakdown of the timelines:
initial application to the adoption agency: a week or two
home study document preparation: if you’re really good, maybe a month; probably longer.
home study report: 1-3 months
application to CIS: 2-3 months
dossier authentication & translation: 2-4 weeks
dossier to China; wait for referral: 18-24 months for non-special needs
letter of intent (special needs): 2-3 weeks
pre-approval (special needs): 6-8 weeks
letter of confirmation: 3-4 months
travel approval: 2-3 weeks
China adoptions are taking over two years from start to finish. Once the flurry of paperwork is completed and the dossier is off to China, the waiting begins. China logs in the dossier and then it sits for what is currently 18-24 months before a referral is made.
Why? Another good question, and we don’t know. Molly says, “Because they can.”
Special needs timelines are much faster, without the waiting period. If all goes well, from the time we signed on with AGCI to the time we bring Leah home should be about a year.
Here’s a rough breakdown of the timelines:
initial application to the adoption agency: a week or two
home study document preparation: if you’re really good, maybe a month; probably longer.
home study report: 1-3 months
application to CIS: 2-3 months
dossier authentication & translation: 2-4 weeks
dossier to China; wait for referral: 18-24 months for non-special needs
letter of intent (special needs): 2-3 weeks
pre-approval (special needs): 6-8 weeks
letter of confirmation: 3-4 months
travel approval: 2-3 weeks
Acronyms Everywhere
A not-so-all-inclusive list of some of the acronyms used in international adoption:
CCAA
China Center for Adoption Affairs
SWI
Social Welfare Institute: Institutions in Chinese provinces that care for orphans and the elderly
CWI
Children’s Welfare Institute: Similar to a Social Welfare Institute, but cares for orphans only
SN
Special Needs
NSN
Non-Special Needs
DOR
Date of Referral
LOI
Letter of Intent
PA
Pre-approval
DTC
Date to China: date the dossier is sent to China
LID
Log-in Date: date the dossier is logged in at the China Center for Adoption Affairs
LOC
Letter of Confirmation: one of the final documents; China sends it as one final confirmation that the parents are still wanting to adopt their referred child
TA
Travel Approval
CA
Consulate Appointment
CCAA
China Center for Adoption Affairs
SWI
Social Welfare Institute: Institutions in Chinese provinces that care for orphans and the elderly
CWI
Children’s Welfare Institute: Similar to a Social Welfare Institute, but cares for orphans only
SN
Special Needs
NSN
Non-Special Needs
DOR
Date of Referral
LOI
Letter of Intent
PA
Pre-approval
DTC
Date to China: date the dossier is sent to China
LID
Log-in Date: date the dossier is logged in at the China Center for Adoption Affairs
LOC
Letter of Confirmation: one of the final documents; China sends it as one final confirmation that the parents are still wanting to adopt their referred child
TA
Travel Approval
CA
Consulate Appointment
Why China?
Why China?
Because that's where our daughter is.
As we explored adoption, we learned that China has about one fifth of the world’s population. One of the most common cultural mindsets is a gender preference of boys over girls.
This, along with China’s one-child policy, has led to thousands of abandoned children, most of them girls or special needs children.
Although it is illegal to give birth to a second child in China, it is also illegal to abandon a child. This means birthparents must anonymously give up their child, without being found out, to someone who can care for her. Babies are typically left in conspicuous public places where they are sure to be found.
China established the China Center for Adoption Affairs to process foreign adoptions in compliance with international law. Each Chinese province independently operates the orphanages scattered throughout the country. Orphanage directors and staff, though short on resources, care a great deal for the children in their care.
By way of comparison, adoption costs are relatively similar to other countries. China requires one two-week trip. Other countries require longer or multiple trips.
Molly had always had a heart for the Chinese people. She has a friend in Taiwan who she met when she was in high school and who we visited after we were married.
We felt that there is such a need in China, and we ached for all the children who are born into a society in which they aren’t valued.
God used these things to gently guide us toward the country where our daughter waited for us.
Because that's where our daughter is.
As we explored adoption, we learned that China has about one fifth of the world’s population. One of the most common cultural mindsets is a gender preference of boys over girls.
This, along with China’s one-child policy, has led to thousands of abandoned children, most of them girls or special needs children.
Although it is illegal to give birth to a second child in China, it is also illegal to abandon a child. This means birthparents must anonymously give up their child, without being found out, to someone who can care for her. Babies are typically left in conspicuous public places where they are sure to be found.
China established the China Center for Adoption Affairs to process foreign adoptions in compliance with international law. Each Chinese province independently operates the orphanages scattered throughout the country. Orphanage directors and staff, though short on resources, care a great deal for the children in their care.
By way of comparison, adoption costs are relatively similar to other countries. China requires one two-week trip. Other countries require longer or multiple trips.
Molly had always had a heart for the Chinese people. She has a friend in Taiwan who she met when she was in high school and who we visited after we were married.
We felt that there is such a need in China, and we ached for all the children who are born into a society in which they aren’t valued.
God used these things to gently guide us toward the country where our daughter waited for us.
A Heap o' Documents
Adoption paperwork is not for the faint-of-heart.
Four days after mailing our application to AGCI, we received our dossier/home study packet.
(For the record, it’s “doss-see-air,” not “doss-see-yay.” It’s French for “very large heap of documents.”)
The next month was a true frenzy of paperwork: birth certificates, marriage certificate, tax forms, reference letters, contracts, physicals for all four of us, bank letters, employment letters, a 51-page questionnaire for each of us, insurance information, criminal checks, and finally, a letter from our vet (seriously).
And that was just for the home study.
Once all the home study documents were assembled, off to AGCI they went via FedEx. (We now have a FedEx account, if that tells you anything.)
Three visits from Barbara, our social worker, and some more waiting, and then on October 24 we became the proud parents of three copies of a notarized 12-page home study report.
Throughout this paperchase, our friend and Notary Public Extraordinnaire Tracy was incredible. Our house, her house, last minute, it didn’t matter. At last count Tracy had notarized 24 signatures for us, and we’re not done yet.
Four days after mailing our application to AGCI, we received our dossier/home study packet.
(For the record, it’s “doss-see-air,” not “doss-see-yay.” It’s French for “very large heap of documents.”)
The next month was a true frenzy of paperwork: birth certificates, marriage certificate, tax forms, reference letters, contracts, physicals for all four of us, bank letters, employment letters, a 51-page questionnaire for each of us, insurance information, criminal checks, and finally, a letter from our vet (seriously).
And that was just for the home study.
Once all the home study documents were assembled, off to AGCI they went via FedEx. (We now have a FedEx account, if that tells you anything.)
Three visits from Barbara, our social worker, and some more waiting, and then on October 24 we became the proud parents of three copies of a notarized 12-page home study report.
Throughout this paperchase, our friend and Notary Public Extraordinnaire Tracy was incredible. Our house, her house, last minute, it didn’t matter. At last count Tracy had notarized 24 signatures for us, and we’re not done yet.
Our Agency
Me being me, I was doing all kinds of research on the internet. Holt International was obviously a very well-respected agency with a great history as one of the first in international adoption, and we liked the fact that they were based in Oregon.
All God’s Children International (AGCI), based in Portland, was the agency that Jeff and his wife had used, and they spoke very highly of their experience.
While surfing one day, I discovered that Holt was having an informational meeting in Corvallis two days later, which happened to fall on my birthday. We decided to go.
Molly and the boys picked my up at work early and we went to Red Robin (the standard Cotter birthday dinner place) and then went to the meeting at the Corvallis library. There were two other couples there, along with a Holt social worker, and a family who had adopted from Korea. The boys were incredibly good for an hour and a half in a small room without much to do. We were impressed with Holt’s history and professionalism.
Logan had a field trip to the zoo in Portland on June 7, and I called AGCI and asked if we could come by their office afterwards. We did, and we met with Keri and Lavi, who spoke with us about adoption and gave us a tour of the AGCI office.
AGCI is a non-profit Christian orphan care and adoption agency committed to offering help and hope to orphan children around the world. Since 1991 AGCI has worked to unite families through international adoption as well as providing orphan care, and has united over 2000 children with their new families.
AGCI had a fascinating beginning chronicled in founder Jan Beazley's book, "Strength of Mercy." AGCI continues to make a difference in the lives of thousands of children who continue to live in orphanages, through programs such as Hannah's Hope, AGCI's children's home, sponsorship programs, and AGCI-sponsored mission trips.
AGCI serves orphaned children in the countries of Bulgaria, China, Guatemala, Kazakhstan, Vietnam, Nepal, Ethiopia, and Romania.
Both of us felt that AGCI was the agency for us. We were impressed with their commitment to children and with the fact that they are very openly a Christian adoption agency.
We returned the AGCI application on June 14, 2007.
Just like that, our adoption adventure began.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
AGCI’s Mission Statement
Reaching with Compassion….to lift orphans into the embrace of waiting families.
Reaching with Commitment….to bring relief and hope to those left behind.
Reaching with Courage….across borders and boundaries to display the strength of God’s mercy around the world.
Reaching with Compassion….to lift orphans into the embrace of waiting families.
Reaching with Commitment….to bring relief and hope to those left behind.
Reaching with Courage….across borders and boundaries to display the strength of God’s mercy around the world.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
The Boys
We felt we were being led toward China, and we asked each of the boys separately what they thought about adopting a baby sister from China.
On Mother’s Day, Molly was out painting the deck. (Do I know how to treat a girl right, or what?) She asked Luke if he wanted another brother or sister, and he said, “a sister.” He told her she should go to the doctor so that he could check her tummy, and she explained that we were talking about adopting a baby who doesn’t have a mommy or a daddy.
Later that day she asked Logan the same thing. First he said he wanted a little brother, then immediately changed his mind and said he wanted a little sister.
Molly asked both of the boys what they would do with a little sister. Luke said, “I’d play with her, help take care of her, and tell her about Jesus.” Logan, separate from his brother, said, “I’d play with her and teach her about Jesus.”
We asked both of them again about a new sister in the next week or so. They were both almost indignant, saying in so many words, “Of COURSE I want a sister. Why are you asking me again? I TOLD you! Duh!”
Since that time the boys have discussed their sister as a fact of life. Molly asked Logan recently if he was going to play with Leah when she got here. His reply? “Of COURSE I’ll play with her; she’s my SISTER! Why WOULDN’T I play with her?”
On Mother’s Day, Molly was out painting the deck. (Do I know how to treat a girl right, or what?) She asked Luke if he wanted another brother or sister, and he said, “a sister.” He told her she should go to the doctor so that he could check her tummy, and she explained that we were talking about adopting a baby who doesn’t have a mommy or a daddy.
Later that day she asked Logan the same thing. First he said he wanted a little brother, then immediately changed his mind and said he wanted a little sister.
Molly asked both of the boys what they would do with a little sister. Luke said, “I’d play with her, help take care of her, and tell her about Jesus.” Logan, separate from his brother, said, “I’d play with her and teach her about Jesus.”
We asked both of them again about a new sister in the next week or so. They were both almost indignant, saying in so many words, “Of COURSE I want a sister. Why are you asking me again? I TOLD you! Duh!”
Since that time the boys have discussed their sister as a fact of life. Molly asked Logan recently if he was going to play with Leah when she got here. His reply? “Of COURSE I’ll play with her; she’s my SISTER! Why WOULDN’T I play with her?”
Seeking Counsel
During this time, Molly sought the counsel of her closest friends. When she brought up the fact that we might be considering adoption, there was no one who seemed surprised. In fact, the reaction was more of, “Of course you're going to adopt. What are you waiting for?”
Both my parents and Molly’s mom and step-dad would be here for Luke’s birthday party on May 26, so we decided to call a family meeting after all the guests had left.
Molly started with, “We have something to tell you….”
My mom (who was kidding, I hope), said, “You’re pregnant!”
Molly’s mom hit the nail on the head: “You’re adopting!”
Both my parents and Molly’s mom and step-dad would be here for Luke’s birthday party on May 26, so we decided to call a family meeting after all the guests had left.
Molly started with, “We have something to tell you….”
My mom (who was kidding, I hope), said, “You’re pregnant!”
Molly’s mom hit the nail on the head: “You’re adopting!”
The Beginning
"Two's a good number," we used to say. We were busy raising our two boys, not knowing that God had additional plans for us.
Molly has always had a soft spot in her heart for kids. She at one point thought about foster care, but she didn’t want to get attached to the kids only to have them taken away.
Molly and I had always thought it would be kind of cool to have a girl, and we’d joked over the years about adopting, but it seemed like we were pretty established with our two boys.
On May 1, 2007, unbeknownst to me, Molly - who never reads the newspaper - had read the weekly “Child in Need” feature in the Statesman Journal about a child in foster care who needed an adoptive home. She thought to herself, “I wonder if we could do that.” She wondered how adopting would work with our family and how the boys would do. The featured child was older and had other issues that wouldn’t work with our family, but the seed was planted, or, more accurately, was sprouting.
Molly and I hardly ever attend conferences together for work, but we were both going to a two-day executive training session at the academy the next day.
While we were there, I ran into a friend of mine who is now a captain with the Tualatin Police Department. Jeff and I had been cadets together for OSP in the late 1980s, and we’ve run into each other every so often over the years.
We were doing the usual catching up; you know, “How old are your kids now?”, etc. He said that in addition to their two boys, they’d adopted a girl from China.
On one of the next breaks, Molly and I were both talking with him again, and I asked him to tell us the story of adopting their daughter.
After we returned to our seats as class began, little did I know that Molly was already jotting down “pros and cons” about adopting a child.
We spoke a little about it off and on over the next couple of weeks. But God was working in both of our hearts, and it was becoming apparent to both of us, separately, that we were being called to adopt.
Molly has always had a soft spot in her heart for kids. She at one point thought about foster care, but she didn’t want to get attached to the kids only to have them taken away.
Molly and I had always thought it would be kind of cool to have a girl, and we’d joked over the years about adopting, but it seemed like we were pretty established with our two boys.
On May 1, 2007, unbeknownst to me, Molly - who never reads the newspaper - had read the weekly “Child in Need” feature in the Statesman Journal about a child in foster care who needed an adoptive home. She thought to herself, “I wonder if we could do that.” She wondered how adopting would work with our family and how the boys would do. The featured child was older and had other issues that wouldn’t work with our family, but the seed was planted, or, more accurately, was sprouting.
Molly and I hardly ever attend conferences together for work, but we were both going to a two-day executive training session at the academy the next day.
While we were there, I ran into a friend of mine who is now a captain with the Tualatin Police Department. Jeff and I had been cadets together for OSP in the late 1980s, and we’ve run into each other every so often over the years.
We were doing the usual catching up; you know, “How old are your kids now?”, etc. He said that in addition to their two boys, they’d adopted a girl from China.
On one of the next breaks, Molly and I were both talking with him again, and I asked him to tell us the story of adopting their daughter.
After we returned to our seats as class began, little did I know that Molly was already jotting down “pros and cons” about adopting a child.
We spoke a little about it off and on over the next couple of weeks. But God was working in both of our hearts, and it was becoming apparent to both of us, separately, that we were being called to adopt.
Introduction
I was urged by a fellow adoptive parent (thank you, Jackie) to put our adoption story down on paper (or computer, as the case may be) so that Leah could someday see how God brought her to us by design.
I also wanted to be able to share our story with our friends and family.
I’m not a story-teller -- see the links under “Some of Our Favorite Adoption Stories” on the home page for some incredible writing that will make you laugh and cry.
But, hopefully, some of this will be meaningful for somebody. And I know it will be for our daughter, to whom this is dedicated….
I also wanted to be able to share our story with our friends and family.
I’m not a story-teller -- see the links under “Some of Our Favorite Adoption Stories” on the home page for some incredible writing that will make you laugh and cry.
But, hopefully, some of this will be meaningful for somebody. And I know it will be for our daughter, to whom this is dedicated….
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